Culture: Meeting People in the Arab World

Key points

• Arabs are known for hospitality; personal questions (family, marital status, job) from someone you just met are normal and driven by curiosity, not judgment.
• Conversations often move quickly from greetings into questions about health, family, and work — very different from Western small talk about the weather.
• A handshake is standard on a first meeting. On later meetings, greetings can include cheek kisses/cheek-to-cheek contact (same-sex friends), touching noses, or — for an older person — kissing the hand or forehead out of respect.
• Greetings involving physical contact between men and women only happen if they know each other well or are family.
• If a woman is wearing a ḥijaab or headscarf in a traditional manner, a man should not initiate a handshake with her — he may shake her hand only if she offers it first. Many conservative women do not shake hands with unrelated men at all.
• Even a simple greeting attempted in Arabic (ssalaamu ʕalaykum, ssalaam, laa baas, kayfa lḥaal) is received as a sincere sign of respect, well beyond a simple 'Hi' — genuinely appreciated even when the visitor is more commonly greeted in French or English.

Full text

Arabs are known for their hospitality, and you'd be hard pressed to find friendlier people anywhere. Whether you're in a souk, restaurant, coffee-shop or anywhere you'd meet people, don't be surprised if the first questions you are asked seem somewhat personal, such as questions about your family, marital status, or your job. Arab culture is based on the fundamental concept of the family and its dynamics. When first meeting any visitor, Arabs naturally want to put him/her in a family context. You'll do yourself a disservice if you shy away from such interactions — this is a major part of the culture, and allowing yourself the opportunity to interact with locals this way will likely lead to an invitation for tea, dinner, or even a visit to someone's home, which can be a valuable cultural experience with some of the best food you've ever tasted. A far cry from Western small talk, in Arab culture you won't get very far starting a conversation about the weather. Initial greetings followed by questions about health, family, jobs, and other areas native English speakers might find personal are normal in the Arab world — you may even be asked about your religion. These questions are driven by curiosity, not a judgmental attitude, and will likely lead to a lively discussion and perhaps an invitation to tea. When first meeting someone, a handshake is the usual protocol. If you're meeting someone for a second time, be prepared for a more traditional greeting that may involve kisses on both cheeks, cheek-to-cheek contact, and the sound of a kiss for friends of the same sex. Other common forms of greeting include touching noses and, if the friend is older, kissing the hand or forehead out of respect. Such greetings may take place between members of the opposite sex, but only if they know each other very well or are members of the same family. If a woman is wearing a ḥijaab or covers her head with a scarf in a traditional manner, men should not offer to shake her hand — though a man may do so if she offers her hand first. Many conservative women do not shake hands with men they are not related to. Although you will most likely be greeted in French or English when you first meet someone, there is nothing more heartfelt to an Arab than a greeting from you in Arabic: ssalaamu ʕalaykum, ssalaam, laa baas, and kayfa lḥaal are traditional greetings. To an Arab, this is more than just saying 'Hi!' — it is a show of sincere respect for the culture, and the effort will be greatly appreciated.